a little schizo...

It's been over a week since my last post and I could stand to wait another week probably. I can't really explain what's going on here. I have ALOT to say and share about what's been going on between me and God. But part of me thinks... this blog isn't just for talking about spiritual things. And I also feel like ... I have nothing to say. I don't need to say anything. I need to be quiet for once. So... I'm not really sure where this is going. I guess I can't help but talk about the things I love...

I'm thankful for friends. Jessica has been my friend since we were 9 years old. We haven't always loved each other but now that we're adults and more mature, all the ups and downs in the past 12 years have made our friendship all the more special. She moved away from Chattanooga last summer and of course that's hard. But I know there's a purpose for it and I hope that some day we can live near each other again.

I think this was around 9th grade? I've always loved it.

I'm pretty sure I've told mine and Lindi's life story in a previous blog, but I'm so thankful for her too. It is SOO necessary to have friends who share your belief system and who you can share with. Lindi and I are really different and sometimes I'm not real sure how we get along so well, but I am glad we do. I think we were certainly put together for many reasons. I love that I can be myself with her.

This song has been one of my favorites and I've been wanting to share it.. so I am. There's lots of things I want to share but never do... so here's some!

"For as the surest source of destruction to men is to obey themselves, so the only haven of safety is to have no other will, no other wisdom, than to follow the Lord wherever he leads..." - John Calvin

"The self-denial Jesus speaks of is always the surrender of a lesser, dying self for a greater, eternal one -- the person God intended when he created you. Confidence in this gives the occasion of 'greatly rejoicing, with joy unspeakable and full of glory' (1 Peter 1:8, PAR). Jesus does not deny us personal fulfillment but shows us the only true way to it. In him we 'find our life.'" - Dallas Willard

side note: I love my pandora 2011 Top Christian Hits station...

"Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. ... The LORD will fight for you and you have only to be silent." Exodus 14:13-14

"observe and seek out all the commandments of the LORD and your God... know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought... Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the LORD God even my God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the..LORD is finished." 1Chronicles 28:8-9,20

"Ask God to give you a passionate prayer life." -Robby Gallaty

Do you ever feel like you do the same thing everyday? I sometimes HATE the fact that we are creatures of habit. I don't like that everyone always sits in the same spot in class. I don't like that people always order the same thing at the same restaurants. I don't like that they always park in the same place. I don't like that they always talk to the same people and don't branch out. Why should I talk to someone else? I'm talking to these people I've gone to school with for 10+ years and I'm okay with that ... that's the reasoning behind it whether it's conscious or not. Anyway... I hate being like that so I've tried to do some things that will get me out of that rut. May I challenge you to sit with someone you've never met? Introduce yourself to a stranger and listen to them instead of talking about yourself. Look people in the eye when you walk past them. Don't just say you'll pray for people. REALLY pray for them and encourage them every now and then by texting them or buying them coffee. Ask someone you work with to go eat with you... even if you don't think you could be friends with them. Don't let your life go by wishing you knew more people, wishing you knew more about the people around you. Invest in someone's life even if it's just a little bit. It's rewarding and fun to see what happens when you don't always do what's habitually expected.

Lindi and I are friends because we went out to eat after work ... not knowing anything about each other really. The best friendships are the ones you have to work to make them work. You get out of it what you put into it (sometimes).

I'm not okay, you're not okay

Self-esteem. Self-worth. Self-image.

Besides your gen psych class... what do those make you think of? Many things come to my mind.
I've posted things online before about how some people have no self-esteem and that's why they let people run over them and aren't respected as a woman or whoever else.
Just last week my friend wrote a blog about worth, saying we are all someone worth dying for (based on that song).
Self-image ties in somewhat but is really a different topic.

This is an area where I've struggled, not because I feel worthless or like I have no reason to live (like others have struggled) but I struggle with where we get this idea that we have self-esteem, that we're worthy of esteem, that we're worthy of anything. I would argue that no one person is worthy of being able to live today. I would also argue to a pregnant girl that her baby deserves to live. These can't be reconciled in my mind; I don't understand it. One of the books (clickhere) I'm reading for my psychology class (psychology of caring for your soul) deals with the revolution of character and the assigned chapter for this next week is called "A Magnificent Ruin." I don't know about anyone else, but I personally think it's kinda depressing! (true, but still depressing)

This is what the Bible says about people in general:


Psalm 14:2-3

The LORD looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one.

Romans 3:10-18
 “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one. Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive. The venom of asps is under their lips. Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; in their paths are ruin and misery, and the way of peace they have not known. There is no fear of God before their eyes.”


(See Ephesians 4:17-19 and 2 Timothy 3:1-5 if you really wanna feel AWESOME about yourself...)

After reading this, how good can you really feel about yourself? We have absolutely nothing to brag about... so how can you say I'm worth dying for? Clearly, I'M NOT and that's what makes the gospel so beautiful.

(Let me stop now and tell you that if you're looking for this to make sense by the end of the post... just quit now. It won't.)

Our biggest problem is that we think we're God. We thrive on playing God - being in control, knowing everything. Our only hope is in Christ. Without Him, we have nothing to live for. It is in Him that we find worth and purpose for our lives. From Willard's book,

"Only with this confession [Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is more deceitful than all else] is a foundation laid for formation into Christlikeness." We can't begin to look like Christ thinking we're anything good. It starts with humbly admitting you're screwed up. "Our inital move toward Christlikeness cannot be toward self-esteem. Realistically, I'm not okay, and you're not okay. We're all in serious trouble. That must be our starting point. Self-esteem in our situation will only breed self-deception and frustration. Regardless of what we may say to 'pump ourselves up' or what others might tell us, we are better off not concealing or denying who we really are."

In recent years, schools have been pushing the concept of self-esteem. We must build students' self-esteem and make them believe they can succeed. They can do anything they apply themselves to. They are good enough to make it in the world. They have a reason to try, to live, etc... While I totally agree that students, especially teenagers, need motivation and people to believe in their ability to succeed, I also believe that succeeding is not the purpose for living.

The purpose for living, the purpose for Jesus dying on the cross, the purpose for the Bible being written... is not for us to succeed and have a nice life. It's for God's glory. The purpose in living is to advance the kingdom of God. Jesus didn't die because I'm worthy for him to come save me. He died because God showed mercy, grace, and love and planned this. The Bible is written, yes, for us to know how to live - in order to give God glory. In this - bringing God glory - we can find worth, only because of Christ.

I'm starting to go in circles here... but also from Willard's book, a C.S. Lewis quote:

The dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you said it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare . . . . There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, culture, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.

This is something I almost hate to discuss because I'm not comfortable with the end result (not understanding it). But I also love to explore it for the very same reason. I just don't get it... I'd love your opinion/thoughts/arguments/anything you have to say ...

what God said

Around Saturday afternoon I always start to wonder what I should blog about and think... ugh do I have to do it again? But, it's more exciting than the homework I'm procrastinating not to mention this is something I want to remember a year from now... It's my blog so I can write about pretty much anything. I'm not sure why I get anxious about the topic of my blog...

3 weeks ago I wrote my spiritual goals for the year down and marked on my calendar every other Sunday to review my goals. So last week I reviewed them and the one that didn't measure up or really show any progress was the goal to pray more intimately. I asked my discipleship group to pray for me in that area and ... touche... the sermon this week is on prayer. Not to be depressing, but I feel like everytime someone talks about prayer in church, they say the same thing. It always comes around to praying for every single person you know or have ever heard of which just seems impossible to me. The one thing I liked most from the sermon today though was this: You can't really learn to pray by reading books (I've tried), or talking about it in a classroom. You learn by doing it, by practicing.

With that, I'll share some recent answers to prayers. If I talk to you regularly, you probably have already heard this. :P
I mentioned my discipleship group is praying with me... The fact that I have a set of friends I refer to as my discipleship group is an answer to prayer. About 4 weeks before we met together for the first time, I started praying for a group. I didn't know where to find one or who I wanted to be with. My schedule with school and work and church from 8am Monday til 5pm Friday is way too crazy for my taste... but somehow among all that, the 4 of us have the same empty spaces in our schedules. We've only met twice so I don't really know them that well but I am so blessed to have a group for this purpose, to help me grow spiritually and stay accountable, and to have a new set of friends - people I probably wouldn't have chosen to hang out with if God hadn't brought us together.

Before the new year I was asked to be a nanny over the summer for one of my girls at school and her sister. I started praying about it and 2 weeks later met with the mom. I had my expectations coming into the "meeting" and she had hers for their family. So over coffee she told me what she was willing to offer and I wasn't really sure so I didn't give her a definite answer. The week before I was also asked to work at a summer camp. (It is against my nature to think about summer plans in JANUARY but... such is life.) When it came down to the details of which job I wanted (5 months ahead of time), summer camp is less work for about the same money. Being a nanny and investing in 2 little lives for 3 months to me sounds priceless. When I wrote out the pro's and con's of each... the only thing stopping me from saying yes to the mom of those girls was money.
As I've been reading through Proverbs this month, over and over again God has showed me how unimportant money is. Taking this job as a nanny will pay my bills plus some... that's more than I need regardless of how it compares to other jobs. Here's what God said... (The mom and I met on January 16th... and this is from Proverbs 16... not an accident)

Proverbs 16:3 - Commit your work to the LORD and your plans will be established.
Proverbs 16:16 - How much better to get wisdom than gold! To get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver.
Proverbs 16:20 - Whoever gives thought to the word (or to a matter) will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.























I felt peace in making this decision and after talking to a few people about what they think I should do, my
decision was made. These verses confirmed for me what I was specifically praying to God about.

What really gets under my skin are those people who will say "yeah pray about it. God will tell you what to do. You just listen to him." Then... when I make my decision based on God's guidance, if it's not the choice that falls in their favor they have a bad attitude towards me. They hold a grudge against me for doing the very thing they told me to do... Can't it be enough that I'm doing this because God told me to?

I was going to add more about what God's been speaking to me about but... I think this is long enough. :) Please share with me what God's been saying to you. It excites me to hear about what He's doing other places too. :)

A cold Hawaiian day

My last post was on the serious side of things, so this should lighten things up a bit. My mind has been in blog mode all day which means anything remotely interesting registers as "I could blog about that!" We'll see how much of that really makes it into this blog.

When I woke up this morning, I thought, "I wanna be a teacher!" Today was a teacher day. Tomorrow - probably won't be. We'll just see. For those who don't know, I'm majoring in English Education and Psychology. I want to be a school counselor, but I also could see myself teaching. sometimes. like today. 

I started the morning off meeting Lindi for coffee/brunch. Last week we did the same thing, but it wasn't just to hang out. For a couple months now, every day we try to text each other a Bible verse, or something we've learned that day concerning our relationship with Christ. It's amazing how much better I've been about staying on track simply because she'll text me a verse. I don't read my Bible just because I want to send her a verse, but it gives me that extra push to actually DO it, then God gives the rewards of it. So starting last week we decided to share our verses in person for that day, and it was really cool! For January we decided to read through Proverbs together. Today being the third, we read Proverbs 3 out loud and made fun notes about it. It's very cool to be able to do that with a friend. I've never had that, and I'm not sure why, but I'm sure glad I do now!

After Lindi and I had our lovely time, I went to Fresh Market. Have you ever been to Fresh Market? It's not enough just to know about Fresh Market; you must experience Fresh Market. This is how Fresh Market makes me feel. I walk in and everything is green, I feel healthy! I hear classical music, I feel sophisticated and fancy. I see fresh stuff that's not in Walmart, I feel wealthy! THEN! I see oriental, exotic, unAmerican things which make me feel less American! Truly, it is an experience. Here's a picture of my stuff I got.

 The cheese is baby swiss. I don't like aged swiss, but I could eat this whole block in one sitting. Chocolate covered peanuts are always yummy and remind me of my grandpa. Then those little squares are for me to share with you as part of the unAmerican experience! I'm not even sure what they are yet! because that's not English. I'm assuming hazlenut for the green, then the brown one is a cracker? We'll see :)

After my Fresh experience, I consumed some cheeeeese (enough to go with one serving of the crackers lol), then went for a walk with my mom at the park. Lucy, my dog, came too. It was so pretty! It was about 30 degrees all day today. This is cold for Chattanooga. We complain when it's 60 degrees in December, then cry when it's 30 in January... gotta talk about somethin I reckon. I thought it was pretty lovely considering I had on leggings, jeans, socks, 1...2..3 shirts, a hoodie, and a jacket, a scarf and a hat. The sun was refreshing today.

Where I spend my summers.

After our walk, we (I) made pizza. It was alright I guess... At least it was pretty...

Before it went in the oven

It's a Hawaiian pizza since it has ham and pineapple. When I have a family some day, I want to have at least one night each week that's a theme party (mostly dinner). For example, tonight would have been Hawaiian night and my girls would wear grass skirts and leighs and the boys would wear tacky flowery shirts with shorts. We would do something that people from the chosen culture do. Like... if we were asian maybe we would eat with chopsticks while sitting on pillows on the floor. I'd do my research and make it educational and fun for my kiddos.

Two more semi-related things:

Related to my time with Lindi: School starts next week for both of us. Right now, it's easy to do my study of the Bible and prayer time because I want to do it and I feel like doing it. When I have homework for 3 classes, paper for another, and a test in another? I'm not gunna feel like doing it. I won't have time. But I have to make time, and make myself do it even when I don't feel like it. Hopefully this accountability thing Lindi and I have will help push both of us forward in doing it. If you care to pray for us, do. Maybe my readers can keep me accountable by making sure I mention something I'm learning every so often, like every week when I blog (like I'm supposed to....).

Kiddos!: I have so missed my kids! I don't really miss going to work, but I do miss the joy they bring me daily. Tomorrow I will see them again. No, I don't feel like getting up and getting ready for work, but I do look forward to seeing their smiling faces and eagerness to see what snack we have or what games we'll play or if they have to wear their jackets outside. I'm pretty sure that tomorrow nothing they do will make me mad because I will just be so glad to see them again! I pray that this extra time with their family and less structured time will make them excited to come back to school (Yeah right), and that I'll be able to manage all of them despite this recovery from vacation. How thankful I am for a job that I adore with children who make my life such a bright place to live! :D I'm sure you'll be hearing about some of the cute things they say or do that I'd like to share. Until then...

Take your hands off.

This is something that's constantly in the back of my mind. It's not easy to write about with the thought that someone else will read this. I don't want to talk about it, yet it's still this long. I feel like if I can spit it all out, get it down visibly, maybe I can organize it and make some sense of it. This video was shared by one of my facebook friends. This particular friend I don't know very well, but you don't have to know much about her to know that she is totally in love with Jesus. I'm encouraged by her each time I talk to her as she has a beautiful soul, not to mention she's beautiful outwardly as well.

This video seems like just another thing to go along with those cliche retreats that Christian-school kids go on where they separate the boys and the girls and you're supposed to get close to God. They have some pretty cool music, some random speaker that no one really knows, and an emotional high when the Spirit of God is present. Many committments are made and tears come running. Then, two days later, you come down off the mountain, you're at home with your family again. Your family hasn't changed. Your friends who didn't go on the retreat haven't changed, so you forget what God did and what committments you made.

This video, however, rings very true to my own heart. Before I say more, I'll let you watch it.

I can't tell you how many guys I've adored in my head. I say "in my head" because maybe my best friend would know, perhaps my mom if I let it slip, but I never actually told a guy I liked him. I'm a firm believer that the guy should pursue me, plus I'm shy sometimes, so it's awkward to think about just telling someone "I like you." I love how Paula, the girl in the video, says she asked God to free her from her idolatry. Idolatry? I never bowed down to worship a person... but an idol is anything that I want more than I want God. Even now, I'm not crazy about every boy I see or anything like that, but it seems like I always have in the back of my mind this ideal story of falling in love with the right guy, getting married, and having cute babies.

In church services, not just now but for years, I'll notice someone and want him to notice me. Sometimes I've even asked God to make me focus on Him, focus on what I'm really singing, not on this person whom I want to notice me. Even when I pray, it doesn't always happen. Even when I do know what I'm singing, I'm still distracted! It drives. me. crazy. I hate it about myself! Church isnt' the easiest place to forget about wanting to be in a relationship. Look around, you have all these cute couples whose relationship, of course, is centered and established in Christ. Even married couples - they're in ministry together, they can go to the "married people's class," and even hang out with their married friends. It just makes me want that more.

I realize now that I probably sound like a desperate person who needs someone to make my life complete. That's not the truth- I'm very happy at this point in life without a boyfriend and sometimes empathize with my friends who are in relationships because they have so much more drama to deal with than I do. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for not having a boyfriend for quite a while because boys tend to be a stumbling block that comes between me and God. But, I don't have to have a boyfriend in order for them to be a stumbling block. I can't honestly say that I even want a relationship right now. Still, I dream about it, almost constantly. I don't know really what to do to stop it. I've prayed, probably not enough.

My prayer is, like this girl, for God to free me of my idolatry, to help me focus on Him and things that are true, honorable, lovely, just, pure, commendable, excellent, worthy of prasie as Philippians 4 says. A concept I learned from another friend's blog is to pray for God to make me into the woman He wants me to be, as much like Christ as I can be -- NOT into the perfect woman for the perfect man, or a good wife, or even a good mother. But just asking God to make me into His image. Period. Without the idea of my life being spent with someone else. Because let's be honest, no one I know right now is someone I could spend the rest of my life with. It's not wrong to pray for a husband, or pray for God to prepare me for the right man, or even for God to bring that into my life. But it definitely is wrong when I want that so much that I focus on that instead of on God and becoming more like Christ.

I'm not sure that writing all this out has helped, but maybe it will take the load off my mind? Doubt it, but we'll see. At least if you care to pray for me, you know how. Maybe you can relate, and maybe you have some advice to offer. I'm not sure why I shared all this, but it's what's on my heart.

In church today, being the start of a new year, the pastor taught on a lifestyle of worship. (Because my church is all technologically fancy, you can watch it here if you like.) The point that hit home to me was that worship is offered as a sacrifice to God.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, 

by the mercies of God, 

to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, 

holy and acceptable to God, 

which is your spiritual worship." - Romans 12:1

I memorized these verses in 5th grade and probably at leat 10 times since then for school. As a 10 year old, what am I supposed to understand (especially in the KJV) about "I beseech you therefore".... you lost me at beseech! Anyway, the word "present" in the context means once and for all, like a marriage vow. You don't get married to the same person every year. Neither are we supposed to just on January 1 of every year say "yes, God, I'll worship you this year. I'll be a sacrifice for maybe a couple weeks, til this resolution wears off." Once and for all, give God your entire, entire, your whole, entire, life. I love that my pastor gives us Biblical examples to help me understand this sacrifice thing. I mean, I don't really go around killing lambs and bringing them to church every Sunday. But in the Old Testament, offerings were presented but it didn't count just when you brought it. It counted as a sacrifice when you took your hands off. In order for my life to be entirely committed to Christ, I must take my hands off, trust God, and let go. That's really hard for me to grasp since my life is not literally in the palm of my hand. But it's not hard to see that I'm holding onto parts of my life, because I can handle it (supposedly). 

God's teaching me that I have got to let go of this idolatry, of this idea of the perfect man, the perfect relationship, and a perfect family. I'm sure there are other areas of my life that are not totally pleasing to God, but those are easier for me to fix. This is the biggest thing for me to just erase. It is so ingrained in my head and it's a schema I can't change. To my advantage, I don't have to rely on myself to be able to change this. He is powerful, he gives me victory, he calms my fears. All I need to do is trust. I need to repent, ask for healing and victory. The mercy of God covers a multitude of sins.

New Bible

How many Bibles can one person have? I only had one until I went to a Christian school. From then, when I was 9 years old, to now I've probably acquired more than ten Bibles. My version of choice is the ESV (English Standard Version). That's what my church teaches from and what I use in my personal reading and studying. My first ESV was paperback, probably cost about $5 and I think it was written for teenagers, but I just wanted to try it out. Then I got one, also cheaply, that's not much bigger than an index card. It's embarassing to hold my Bible two inches from my face in church, so I decided I needed another one. I also have an ESV study Bible but it has so many notes, it's a few inches thick. I'd rather not carry THAT around either. (Sorry, I'm picky). So I got the perfect (haha) Bible from Lifeway today. I love the color and the size.

It's a burgundy color which isn't extremely girly, but it's still pretty. It's a great size.

The words aren't too small, but not too big.

Great thickness.

And it fits with my notebook and little devotional book perfectly. It also fits perfectly into my new basket, which I wrote about here.

 I'm grateful that the Bible is complete and available to me, in whatever size, shape, etc... I can choose. Works great for such a choosey person. :)
What's your favorite?

Joy and Peace

It's always easier to stay faithful to studying the Bible when I'm in a routine. Last semester it was great not having to go to work until noon 3 days a week, then having school only 2 days a week. Especially on MWF, I could wake up at 9, take my time waking up, take my time studying, and still have time to get ready to go. When the cycle is broken, I struggle to make myself have a special time to focus only on my relationship with Christ. However, if I'm home alone especially in the mornings, and have nothing to really do that day, I can still make time easily. When I start traveling and stay at other peoples' houses, that's the hardest for me. It's hard to stay in one place and not really be bothered with anyone else for 30 minutes to an hour unless I wake up early or strain myself to stay up later. Let's face it, no one wants to wake up early... especially not on vacation. And when it's time to go to sleep after I've already fallen asleep watching a movie, I tell myself, "I'll just do it in the morning" and so it continues. 


Before Christmas break I was studying Philippians through a book by Kay Arthur and David Lawson, That I May Know Him. I'm not gunna lie... 6 weeks in the same book is kinda a long time! I got excited when we'd move on to the next chapter because I had read the previous chapter at least 20 times. Not that that's a bad thing. But sometimes I would be excited to see what I'd learn that day, and it would say "read Philippians 3 for the 40th time" and I felt like there was nothing new for me. So over the break I decided to break away from that, then today I came back to Philippians. Ironically enough, I only had 1 day left. The last day of each week in the study has discussion questions that you can use if you're studying through the book as a small group, or just individual study questions. They're the type of questions you don't want to answer, the ones you avoid when you're just skimming through. You don't really want to think about "what are you going to do about what you've learned?" or "how are you going to live out God's instructions?". But I felt like a kid at an amusement park. I wanted to run on to the next fun ride, but I didn't want to stop and wait in line for 30 minutes to eat, even though food is what I need. God was like taking my hand and dragging me back into line to wait for the nourishment I needed. Thinking through the hard questions make studying the Bible more tangible. It's easier for me to see where I'm lacking, and what I need to do about it. It also helps me focus on some key points and ya know? When I asked the Holy Spirit to teach me somethin... dontcha know he actually did it? Crazy how that works out...


This is a summary of the end of Philippians...if it seems broken, I'm sorry. These are just my notes scribbled out.


Main teaching -- 

• rejoice
• claim peace
• be content
• keep a good attitude 
• keep a proper focus
• help others

What I learn about "joy" and "rejoice" --

• Joy comes from the Lord.
• Rejoicing is the result of inner joy, not based on circumstances.
• Rejoice ALL the time.
• Paul's example: He rejoiced in prison, when he was poor and hungry, in need of support.

So what does that mean for my life? - trust God for joy, don't rely on circumstances or people for happiness. Talk with God, pray and thank Him, ask Him, He guards your heart.

That promise was probably the best thing from today. Here's the passage from Philippians 4: 4-7

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Because I'm a spoiled American brat, it's so easy for me not to be content with what I have. I complain when things are the want I want them. (I'm working on that.) But, no matter what, even if I really did having something to complain about - if I was starving, in jail, abused for obeying Scripture - still there's nothing to worry about, according to Paul. 

What does this say about being anxious? DON'T DO IT! Don't be anxious, chill out. Stop complaining, stop worrying, stop trying to fix your own crises. ... Well... if I can't do any of those things... what AM I supposed to do?? 

1. Rejoice.

2. Talk to God... pray about everything. Thank God. Ask him for what you want.

Then God promises to guard your heart and mind. What an awesome promise. Who else can promise that? People can try to protect us from getting heartbroken or perverting our minds, but God is in control. He will give you peace that you cannot understand, and can't explain. Right after he promises to guard our minds, he tells us what to think about in 4:8 - things that are: true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, worthy of praise. How do we make ourselves focus on these types of things? Through Christ who is guarding our minds, remember? 

I love that one of the key words of the book of Philippians is "mind" or "attitude." I don't really struggle to obey the Bible in actions very much. Because I've always been in Christian environments, I'm pretty good at looking like a good Christian kid. But many of my sins are rooted in my mind and no doubt, the sinful actions I do are a result of an already sinful mind. My mind needs more work. 

There's more from the discussion questions I could type out but I'm not trying to make a 35 minute sermon here. 

*The most powerful thing spoken to me during this study: I must give up my life, be willing to forsake EVERY thing, all my comforts, my pride, my privileges, even what I think are my "rights," for the Lord. Why? The reward is to know Him more.

Whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed I count everything as loss becuase of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ... -Philippians 3:7-9

*The hardest thing for me to do: Stay humble.

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others... -Philippians 2:3-4