the inside of my twirling universe

These words can't accurately say what I mean, but it's the closest I can come. God is SO good. He is more than I deserve and blesses me in so many ways every single day. I am so thrilled by the fact I get to spend eternity with him forever. Let me tell you about him...

My God didn't make me perfect. He had a better plan. He loves me anyway, and decided to make a plan of redemption instead of a person of perfection... He hears me. He answers me even when I can't see the answers! Today I've recognized a couple more answers to prayer.

My day was incredibly busy (ihatethis) from school, to work, to church... and there's 13 hours of my life gone. With a life like that it's hard to find time to think about God, but he's made himself SO evident in my life. First... the sunrise was simply amazing and beautiful. He reminds me to work on my memory verses before my mind gets too overloaded. My God never gives up on me. I am blessed this semester to have a class (maybe I've talked about it), the psychology of caring for your soul. This class isn't just a class. It is providing me with the opportunity to read 2 books devoted to the idea of re-forming my character to be more like Christ. So even within my busy day, I have a class like this to help me slow down and think about my inner-self and not all that's spinning around me. I feel like it's just a bonus to get college credit for this "work."

After school I go work with my kiddos, who by the way are so impressive. I could brag about them for a while... They make me so proud and I smile constantly because of them. I got to play soccer with a couple boys today and that was the highlight of my day. ANOTHER blessing. I can't explain how I even got the job working with these little people, but God gave it to me.

After work I met with a friend and got to share a little of what's been happening with my life and some of my answers to prayer. She's an awesome listener... I feel like I talked the whole time, but she told me I was an encouragement to her and I thank God for that... I totally wasn't meeting up with her to think "I'm gunna ENCOURAGE her and be a blessing!" But God works things out beautifully.

After friend time, I went to the college service at church... blessing after blessing after blessing (I need a new word for blessing) has come to me through this church. Last summer that very friend I met with today prayed with me about finding a church I could get connected with where God wants me to be. 6 months later, I'm at Brainerd Baptist and am so much more engaged in my relationship with the Lord. Anyway, the Word preached was about building an authentic Biblical community. I prayed that God will help me to bear other people's burdens (not praying with any specific person in mind) and to reach out to others instead of thinking about myself all the time. I didn't realize it until I was driving home that within an hour God answered that.

I got to talk with a (new) friend and I was just saying hello but she opened up to me and let me share some of her burdens and also helped me bear some of mine. I am sooo moved by her heart for God and how brokenhearted she is when she knows something is not the way it should be with her Savior. We prayed together and the way she used Scripture and song lyrics throughout her prayer was beautiful. I love the fact that I can pray with a friend openly, not worrying about what people think but only focusing on possibly the only thing we have in common - our Lord.

God is working on me in many ways... so pray with me that I will be who he wants me to be as an individual but more as a part of a community, a family of believers. I want to find my place within this church (and by church I mean body of believers in Christ, not a building) to do the things God commands - to help people with their problems, to point out sin when it needs to be confronted, to encourage each other in the Word, to pray with people...and whatever else He has in mind.

I am blessed beyond what I can tell you in a blog... or in person. or anywhere.
I looked up "blessed" on thesaurus.com and the only synonym I like enough to mention is "redeemed" but even so, that's not what I mean.
Praise God with me... pray with me, tell me how I can pray for you.

devotion

School started this week which has made life way too busy for my taste. Regardless, it's what I do. My favorite class this semester will probably be my special topics psych class called the Psychology of Caring for Your Soul. We will be reading through 2 books and talking about spiritual disciplines - ironic that my church is going through the same thing at the same time? Probably not... I hope to learn much in this class that is truly relavent to my life. I love having a class that will make my walk with God deeper and strengthen my faith rather than bog me down with pointless memorizing.

One thing that bothered me this week was, to put it generally, legalism. Growing up in a Christian school and various churches, I've heard so many people talk about how important it is to have devotions every day. "Have devotions" - what does that even mean? Devotion to me means dedication, faithfulness, promising to be diligent, persevering. Synonyms (thank you dictionary.com) are zeal and ardor, fervor, passion. Yet when I think of "do devotions" it carries a negative, dutiful connotation. Maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's the idea that's been portrayed to me that being devoted to God means reading the Bible, maybe another book which they choose for me, writing down prayer requests when people make them known, and praying before you eat. (None of these people who gave me this idea would actually come out and say that those things are what makes up Christianity, but that's how it comes across.) Why don't I associate "passion, fervor, zeal" with devotions?

One thing said in my Care for the Soul class was something about getting away from the concept that I must read my Bible every single day in order to be a good Christian, and clinging to the idea that God is always with me. Sometimes life happens and you can't spend hours each day studying the Word. That doesn't mean God loves us any less or isn't as present with us as He could be.

When doing things, "disciplines" as I'm coming to call them, to pursue godliness becomes boring, monotonous, and unenthusiastic, I need to reevaluate what it is I'm pursuing. I've tried reading a book and writing my thoughts down and getting it signed off by youth leader each week - that didn't satisfy me. What deeply satisfies is pursuing a Person who gives truth and grace.

This video also crossed my path (and by path I mean facebook news feed) this week. I feel it's relavent...

(Also, read this about it... http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/2012/01/13/does-jesus-hate-religion-kinda-sorta-not-really/ ) I had my doubts when I watched it about the truthfulness of each and every phrase, but decided I like what this guy is trying to say. While definitions of words DO matter, in a person's own creative work... isn't it okay to define it relatively? maybe...