Friends and Enemies

I ran today... I don't run. I don't like running. Being out of breath and feeling my heart go way too fast is just not my idea of fun. I wish it was! I wish I liked running... but I don't. But I feel better now and maybe I'll do it again.

Something God is teaching me lately is how important it is to have godly friends who go through life with you. With friends who confess that they have the same struggles I do, life is easier. When close friends share what God is teaching them, it encourages me to get in the word and see what God is teaching them and find something that God leads me to read and then God teaches me too.

In the last couple days I've been meditating on 2 main themes... 1 - how to treat unbelievers (believers too) 2 - how powerful words are.

My intent for this blog is for my own looking back on and reflecting at what God has done, so I won't make it long.

1- How to treat unbelievers

Romans 12:14-21
*Bless them and don't harm them.
*Be there for them in happy times and hard times.
*Get along - display harmony, complement each other's weaknesses and strengths
*Don't be prideful, but humble.
*Never be wise in your own sight.
*Give thought to do what is honorable - THINK!
*Live at peace
*Don't get even.
*Serve your enemies.

These things are not natural... but the verse I'm memorizing this week in the very next chapter, Romans 13:14 says we're not supposed to do only things that feel natural. "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to gratify its desires."

2- How powerful words are

Proverbs 16:24
Proverbs 17:27-28
Proverbs 18:2
Proverbs 18:21

I also learned that James is the "Proverbs of the New Testament"

James has so many wonderful truths and bits of wisdom that it would take a lot of space to share them all.

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. They prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Confidence to find grace

Today I am thankful that God doesn't just leave us alone. God disciplines his children. And it's not a slap on the wrist or sitting in time out. It's like he just takes your heart and squeezes it til you cry "mercy." I don't mean to make my God sound harmful, but discipline is ultimately good. It's for His glory and to make his children more like Himself. I don't know if you have those friends who will really tell you when you're wrong or call you out when you're not doing your best, but God has put a couple of those people in my life. And they're not friends who are college students that I hang out with all the time. But I am beyond grateful for these people because they have helped me grow spiritually. I'm pretty convinced after today that God uses people to discipline his children also. When we're kids, it's our parents. But when we're adults, he can use a number of things to figuratively punch us in the face. Today, it was harsh words from someone. All day I've been on the verge of tears and will probably cry before I finish this post, again. 

What I've learned today:- I am weak.- Weakness isn't bad. "When I'm weak, then am I strong" said Paul. God's strength is made perfect in my weakness (something I don't understand).

- Discipline sucks.

- Discipline is good for you.

- A good friend will still hold you like a parents holds that child throwing a fit, kicking and screaming for mom to put him down. A friend will give you the tough stuff, then hold you til you calm down and can act right.

- I'm naked in front of God. He exposes everything in me.

- I am invited to come to the throne of grace with boldness.

- There, there is mercy and grace to help in time of need.Basically, I need him desperately...

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account... Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:12-13, 16)

Everything I Need

You know those friends you have that you might go talk to when things are going well in your life and they encourage you and you both act like everything is peachy? Then... you know those friends that you can hang out with when things really are peachy but you can also come to them with your burdens and pain. I have plenty of friends that I can talk to about basic things, but when I really need to talk... I don't go to people. My best friends have been the ones who can tell when I'm not okay and ask the right questions to break me down til I just spill everything out. My best friends have told me when I'm not acting right and when I need to work on things. They don't just smile like everything's perfect all the time.

I'm glad I don't have a God that just exists to make me feel better. Yes, God  loves me and has tons of promises I can cling to... but the part I like least about God's love is his discipline. Like any good father, he doesn't let me get away with things that aren't pleasing to him. Often times it's hard for me to point out my own sin even when I think about it for a few minutes. I'm a pretty good person by people's standards... so to find my deepest sins I have to look beyond what people can see - into my heart. Some sins are evident by people's behavior/lifestyle and some are inward and not easily detectable.

God's definitely not finished with me yet but he's just starting to chisel away at me. I have issues with authority for a few different reasons, but those aren't important. Some authority is great because they understand me and I understand them. But in more than one of my jobs, dealing with my boss has been the hardest part of the job. I have an idea in my head of how I think a boss should run things and if that doesn't happen I tend to think I don't need to be submissive. God's put certain people in my life to show up my pride. ... Don't ask God to show you things you need to get rid of... he'll do it, and it hurts.

This song, Everything I Need, tells how God is much greater than me. He is strong when I'm not. He's comfort when I'm uncomfortable. When I NEED someone... He's there. He's not the friend who acts like everything is perfect. He's the friend who holds me when I need to cry, tells me when I'm wrong, and stands by me to make me into the right person. I don't even understand everything I need... but He does. And He fulfills that.

a little schizo...

It's been over a week since my last post and I could stand to wait another week probably. I can't really explain what's going on here. I have ALOT to say and share about what's been going on between me and God. But part of me thinks... this blog isn't just for talking about spiritual things. And I also feel like ... I have nothing to say. I don't need to say anything. I need to be quiet for once. So... I'm not really sure where this is going. I guess I can't help but talk about the things I love...

I'm thankful for friends. Jessica has been my friend since we were 9 years old. We haven't always loved each other but now that we're adults and more mature, all the ups and downs in the past 12 years have made our friendship all the more special. She moved away from Chattanooga last summer and of course that's hard. But I know there's a purpose for it and I hope that some day we can live near each other again.

I think this was around 9th grade? I've always loved it.

I'm pretty sure I've told mine and Lindi's life story in a previous blog, but I'm so thankful for her too. It is SOO necessary to have friends who share your belief system and who you can share with. Lindi and I are really different and sometimes I'm not real sure how we get along so well, but I am glad we do. I think we were certainly put together for many reasons. I love that I can be myself with her.

This song has been one of my favorites and I've been wanting to share it.. so I am. There's lots of things I want to share but never do... so here's some!

"For as the surest source of destruction to men is to obey themselves, so the only haven of safety is to have no other will, no other wisdom, than to follow the Lord wherever he leads..." - John Calvin

"The self-denial Jesus speaks of is always the surrender of a lesser, dying self for a greater, eternal one -- the person God intended when he created you. Confidence in this gives the occasion of 'greatly rejoicing, with joy unspeakable and full of glory' (1 Peter 1:8, PAR). Jesus does not deny us personal fulfillment but shows us the only true way to it. In him we 'find our life.'" - Dallas Willard

side note: I love my pandora 2011 Top Christian Hits station...

"Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. ... The LORD will fight for you and you have only to be silent." Exodus 14:13-14

"observe and seek out all the commandments of the LORD and your God... know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought... Be strong and courageous and do it. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed, for the LORD God even my God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the..LORD is finished." 1Chronicles 28:8-9,20

"Ask God to give you a passionate prayer life." -Robby Gallaty

Do you ever feel like you do the same thing everyday? I sometimes HATE the fact that we are creatures of habit. I don't like that everyone always sits in the same spot in class. I don't like that people always order the same thing at the same restaurants. I don't like that they always park in the same place. I don't like that they always talk to the same people and don't branch out. Why should I talk to someone else? I'm talking to these people I've gone to school with for 10+ years and I'm okay with that ... that's the reasoning behind it whether it's conscious or not. Anyway... I hate being like that so I've tried to do some things that will get me out of that rut. May I challenge you to sit with someone you've never met? Introduce yourself to a stranger and listen to them instead of talking about yourself. Look people in the eye when you walk past them. Don't just say you'll pray for people. REALLY pray for them and encourage them every now and then by texting them or buying them coffee. Ask someone you work with to go eat with you... even if you don't think you could be friends with them. Don't let your life go by wishing you knew more people, wishing you knew more about the people around you. Invest in someone's life even if it's just a little bit. It's rewarding and fun to see what happens when you don't always do what's habitually expected.

Lindi and I are friends because we went out to eat after work ... not knowing anything about each other really. The best friendships are the ones you have to work to make them work. You get out of it what you put into it (sometimes).

the inside of my twirling universe

These words can't accurately say what I mean, but it's the closest I can come. God is SO good. He is more than I deserve and blesses me in so many ways every single day. I am so thrilled by the fact I get to spend eternity with him forever. Let me tell you about him...

My God didn't make me perfect. He had a better plan. He loves me anyway, and decided to make a plan of redemption instead of a person of perfection... He hears me. He answers me even when I can't see the answers! Today I've recognized a couple more answers to prayer.

My day was incredibly busy (ihatethis) from school, to work, to church... and there's 13 hours of my life gone. With a life like that it's hard to find time to think about God, but he's made himself SO evident in my life. First... the sunrise was simply amazing and beautiful. He reminds me to work on my memory verses before my mind gets too overloaded. My God never gives up on me. I am blessed this semester to have a class (maybe I've talked about it), the psychology of caring for your soul. This class isn't just a class. It is providing me with the opportunity to read 2 books devoted to the idea of re-forming my character to be more like Christ. So even within my busy day, I have a class like this to help me slow down and think about my inner-self and not all that's spinning around me. I feel like it's just a bonus to get college credit for this "work."

After school I go work with my kiddos, who by the way are so impressive. I could brag about them for a while... They make me so proud and I smile constantly because of them. I got to play soccer with a couple boys today and that was the highlight of my day. ANOTHER blessing. I can't explain how I even got the job working with these little people, but God gave it to me.

After work I met with a friend and got to share a little of what's been happening with my life and some of my answers to prayer. She's an awesome listener... I feel like I talked the whole time, but she told me I was an encouragement to her and I thank God for that... I totally wasn't meeting up with her to think "I'm gunna ENCOURAGE her and be a blessing!" But God works things out beautifully.

After friend time, I went to the college service at church... blessing after blessing after blessing (I need a new word for blessing) has come to me through this church. Last summer that very friend I met with today prayed with me about finding a church I could get connected with where God wants me to be. 6 months later, I'm at Brainerd Baptist and am so much more engaged in my relationship with the Lord. Anyway, the Word preached was about building an authentic Biblical community. I prayed that God will help me to bear other people's burdens (not praying with any specific person in mind) and to reach out to others instead of thinking about myself all the time. I didn't realize it until I was driving home that within an hour God answered that.

I got to talk with a (new) friend and I was just saying hello but she opened up to me and let me share some of her burdens and also helped me bear some of mine. I am sooo moved by her heart for God and how brokenhearted she is when she knows something is not the way it should be with her Savior. We prayed together and the way she used Scripture and song lyrics throughout her prayer was beautiful. I love the fact that I can pray with a friend openly, not worrying about what people think but only focusing on possibly the only thing we have in common - our Lord.

God is working on me in many ways... so pray with me that I will be who he wants me to be as an individual but more as a part of a community, a family of believers. I want to find my place within this church (and by church I mean body of believers in Christ, not a building) to do the things God commands - to help people with their problems, to point out sin when it needs to be confronted, to encourage each other in the Word, to pray with people...and whatever else He has in mind.

I am blessed beyond what I can tell you in a blog... or in person. or anywhere.
I looked up "blessed" on thesaurus.com and the only synonym I like enough to mention is "redeemed" but even so, that's not what I mean.
Praise God with me... pray with me, tell me how I can pray for you.